he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
