White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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