Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
