you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
