would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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