i dont even know how to be here
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
