please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
