I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
