it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
