Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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