I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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