I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
