I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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