I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize