why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize