I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
