Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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