and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
