I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
