how can u be prego again
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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