Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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