recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
