His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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