Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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