you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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