remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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