Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
