There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
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We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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