K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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