Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
