Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
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I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
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Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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