You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ambien. No doubt about it.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
