random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
