i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
