It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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