I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
