Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
