wanna go halves on a baby?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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