Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This is my gift to your gina
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
