Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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