Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
