Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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