It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
