You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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