I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize