I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
