At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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