Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
