he shaved USA in his pubs
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
