remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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