Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
