Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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