he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
