So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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